You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
