Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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