addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
