Banned from zoo.
Again?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Btw I puked in your glovebox
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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