Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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