As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
