Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dignity is for republicans.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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