bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
