so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize