I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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