the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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