So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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