No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
