He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
