dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
