I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
