Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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