we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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