Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
