you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
