once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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