lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
