i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
