my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
