She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize