i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
