You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
