You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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