I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
