So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
