In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
