I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
