Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
