"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
