Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
