I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
