Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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