If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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