Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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