oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
