Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize