I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize