She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
