OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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