He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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