I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
