My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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