thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
