youre lurking in front of me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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