i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
