i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
