She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
