I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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