I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
