yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
