So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
