I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
