Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
