Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Shame is for Republicans.
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