My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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