No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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