shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
