the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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