Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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