Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
