What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize