sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
