i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
