My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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