I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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