i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the day after is always just damage control
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize