Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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