the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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