I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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