There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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