I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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