I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She told me I should be a condom model.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
