Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
