Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
