DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
