we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this will be a night to untag.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Come share oat with me in your robe
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize